Sick and in Bed.

     I would like to say that this is only day two of being sick, but that would not be truthful. I've been fighting this thing for over a week now - it's just finally gotten to the point of taking my body over. I've spent the last two days sleeping and still not much progress in the area of feeling better. So this leaves me now, with at least 12 hours of straight sleep, with many naps before that with much less awake time. So what does that mean now? I'm painfully awake - yet unable to get up due to the fact that it makes me dizzy and my head wants to explode. So I'm here and I'm not sure what to write about, but I'm tired of reading and the Hubster is at work.

     I encountered a situation a few weeks ago that keeps replaying in my mind. I find it very uncomfortable to walk into a room and be greeted with "You sing." There's no inquiry about this, it's said as a statement. It's said as a fact. Now that in and of itself is not the problem. The problem lies within myself and my belief that, yes I sing - but I never said I was any good at it. I have this problem that I assume when people hear that I'm on a worship team at church they assume I sing well, when in fact I don't believe I can - so I'm faced with the problem of feeling like I'm lying to someone if I say I can... though it's never asked if I can well. On the flip side, those who are close to me tell me that I have a decent voice - yet my insecurities tell me that they're just being nice. I don't mean to discredit them in anyway, I appreciate the encouragement - but I just wonder what it will take for me to finally release these lame insecurities that I've had since Jr. High.
     The reason why I am a member of a worship team is far more than it's something I enjoy doing - I do find enjoyment in it and my fear of a microphone has greatly decreased over the years, but it's mainly because I strongly believe that it is where God is leading me at this moment, and has been leading me for about 3 years now. I have come to this conclusion based off of the fact that people I've never met and who do not know anything about me have suggested that I join in various teams. And it's more than just that, but I'm not sure it would translate well through text, so I suppose I'll just leave it at that.
     I congratulate you if you actually read this - though why, I'm unsure. I don't intend to waste your time by speaking of meaningless things, but I'm afraid I have and I am sure I have on more than one occassion. But I suppose sometimes I just need to get things out, speak them, write them. It's therapuetic. It's nice to not bottle things up, and it helps me to not build up walls around my heart, which is always beneficial (the not building up walls, that is.)

     Anyways, I hope that you are having a wonderful day and that you are able to enjoy the beauty in it God has given us, and I hope that you are healthy and not feeling as I am. I am definitely missing work and the munchkins.