A frequent question answered.

     Most people when they learn that my occupation at the moment is "Nanny" they immediately go to, "how's that for birth control?" or "I bet that makes you not want kids!". I usually laugh along with them and whatever, and rarely actually answer the question - so here it is. I'm a nanny to two wonderful little kids who fill my life with so much joy, sur they have their days where it's not all sunshine and giggles, but it's mostly joy. So why don't you tell me, if you had someone else's children bring immense joy into your life, would that make you want your own or not?



     My job just reinforces my desire to have children one day - maybe not today, but one day for sure.

Inspiration



     What is inspiration? Something I'm seriously lacking at the moment I'm inclined to say that it's inspiring, but that's not actually a beneficial definition. I would normal turn to Mr. Webster, but as we don't own a physical dictionary, I shall turn to dictionary.com - though I am inclined to go to yahoo! answers purely because of someone saying that it's completely bogus [which is completely true - read the answers sometime, they can be quite entertaining]. Focus. Dictionary.com defines inspiration as "an inspiring or animating action or influence". Fail. I reject definitions that uses another form of the word being defined in its definition. Inspiration, as defined by Dictionary.com through the verb inspire, is:  the act of being "fill[ed] with an animating, quickening, or exalting influence"; something that "produce[s] or arouse[s] (a feeling, thought, etc.)". Inspiration is something I am greatly lacking at the present moment - and have been for about a week now (I think). However, it's not something I've been completely lacking - it's just what's lacking my writing. I desire to write; I have the urge to write and my mind is a blank canvas and there are no paints in the room. Fail. I think there are a lot of things and people that inspire me, but there are 5 that pop in my head immediately:

1. God - Why is God inspiring? Because He chose to love me and claim me as His own even when I was a sinner. Romans 5:8 "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  What could be more "inspiring" than that? That God would love me, hold on to me, and not give up on me while I was still openly rejecting Him! There is no other love like that - it's perfect.
2. My Hubster - He is such a wonderful man of God! He works hard and does all he can to take the best care of me that he can. He loves me unconditionally, he never gave up on me and he never will, he sees me for who I am even when I'm trying to hide it, he encourages me - which all in turn make me want to be the best person I can be.
3. My Mom (I know you're crying Mommie - but it's true). - She hasn't been dealt an easy hand in life, but she doesn't let it get her down. She makes the most out of her circumstances - something I wish I did that better and, Lord willing, something I will learn to do better as I get older.
4. My In-laws, Pops and Moms - These two are incredible. They have loved me like their own since I met them. They are strong and dependent on Christ; they aren't afraid to be themselves and they have some of the biggest hearts I've ever seen.
5. My Unspoken - While I feel the need to write it, I won't - but it's a part of my heart always.

    Have you stopped to think about what inspires you most? What are the things that drive you to give your best? Do you even know? Take a moment - I think what inspires you, shapes you and what shapes you makes you. Obviously, circumstances play into this, but do you rise to the occasion and fight the battle or do you let circumstances beat you down? Do you know what's pushing you to be better each day? To try harder? To not give up?
     The only reason why I am where I am is because God never let go and He never will. He never gave up on me, even when I was deceived and believing false doctrine - He spurred me on when no one else did. He held my heart, He held my hand, He guided me and He didn't have to, He just remained faithful to His promises. He holds my life, He directs me, and His love is perfect and His love inspires me.

Laura Story



     Sometime last year, I was given the opportunity to attend a concert held at my church. The performer was Laura Story - and while I had never heard of her up until this point, I was very familiar with her songs. That's one of those qualities about myself that tends to bother at times - I know plenty of songs but no idea what their titles are or who performs them. Shortly after the concert, Pops gave me her CD "Great God to Save" which has been on repeat in my car for the past few weeks. Right now, we are in the midst of a struggle and Laura's songs are beautiful, emotional, and real. Every single one of the songs on this CD speak straight to my heart - there is something in each of them that is true to my life at some point or another - it's like she knows me, my life, my heart and that my friends, is powerful music. This woman is strong. She has been through a lot, but never gave up - she turned to God in the midst of her struggles and learned through His Word and her life that He truly is Mighty to Save.
     I would highly suggest checking her out. Her music is God-centered, biblical, and powerful.

http://www.laurastorymusic.com/

Just a short update

     Just wanted to give a brief update since it's been a silent blog for a few days and I just feel the need to write at the moment. I'm not sure how much I'll be blogging this month - it's been 2 days of making an adjustment and my energy is just not here. I went to the doctor for a check-up of sorts and am now waiting for 8 of 16 test results come back. While I praise and thank God for the results that have come back, they don't get us any closer to an explanation as to why things are the way they are. I would really just like an answer - something that would explain this, even if it's just a little tiny clue.  Something is better than nothing, you know?

     On better news, our church is having water baptisms tomorrow! This is such an amazing time for so many who are stepping forward and being obedient to the Lord after receiving the Holy Spirit and accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Praise God for obedient servants!

Contemplation

     It's a weird thing to look at my history of anxiety and yet be able to be completely calm about the events of tomorrow. Praise God!

Product Review Wednesday: Femme Couture Eye Make-Up Remover

     Like many women I spend time on my make-up - not much lately, but that's another story. One of my biggest issues I've discovered after washing my face at the end of the day is that my eyeliner and mascara don't fully come off. I found Femme Couture Eye Make-Up Remover at Sally's Beauty Supply and decided to give it a shot.
     Sally's webiste gives the following product information on FC Eye Make-Up Remover:

•  Gently dissolves eye makeup
• Soothing and refreshing
• Oil and fragrance free
       Femme Couture Eye Makeup Remover features a gentle but effective formula that quickly dissolves and helps remove even the most stubborn eye makeup. It soothes and refreshes the delicate skin around the eyes. "

     I will agree that it is oil and fragrance free as well as effective. However, I have no idea what they're talking about when it claims it to be soothing and refreshing. While I've used about 65% of the bottle due in part to it's fantastic effectiveness, it is definitely not soothing and refreshing. It burns quite a bit and definitely something I only use at night because it irritates my skin so much. This is not an ideal product. I am very critical and hard on myself when it comes to my make-up which means I mess up a lot and have to re-do a bunch, usually leaving some remnants of black which is difficult to cover up.

just a side note: Make-up is a creative outlet for me and something that is very personal please don't jump on me about being made in God's image and am therefore beautiful. While there is a beauty aspect to why I invest time into cosmetics, I'm not trying to cover up who God made me to be - I have very different reasons for it.

Thank you for taking the time to read it.

Ink - Part Three

     If you read Ink - Part Two, then you know that Jeff is my cousin and a very important part of my life and his death was a key element to me realizing that there was no possible way I could survive this life without God, and due to the fact that I was still grieving two years later, I got my seond tattoo.

     Sometime in 2008 I "wandered" into True at Heart, a tattoo shop that also holds a Bible study in it one night a week after hours, with my scrapbook. I know - strange picture to imagine huh? You wouldn't expect the "scrapbook" type to be found in a tattoo parlor with scrapbook in hand to explain the full impact and significance.

 

     There's a lot of things going on with this one that you wouldn't know without me telling you - the most important, I believe, is the lessen that was taught through the loss of a great man. Through this, I began to wake up to the reality that I did and do need Christ and, after a couple years of trying to figure out and piece together all the events that directed me toward God I had to realize that this life is full of suffering and pain, but there is no amount of pain or tragedy hear that can even come close to the glory that God will reveal to us - which is Romans 8:18 - the verse I find the most hope in. ^"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

     The ribbon in the center of this tattoo represents the ribbons that we wore to Jeff's funeral along with his initials inside of it - J.M.O.

     The smoke - yes, I know that it looks like clouds, but that's not what it was intended to be. It is smoke - and this is because Jeff liked burn outs. His friends all got together and the cemetary and gave him a beautiful motorcycle farewell - burning their tires into the asphalt and making a whole bunch of smoke. I remember one of his friends talking with me afterwards and telling me how much Jeff would have loved that.
     There are two crosses - one to represent that he was saved before he was called home and is now with Christ, waiting for the rest of us and the second because I came to realize that I need God - this life can't be faced without God and Christ's atoning blood.
 [side note: please don't "rule" people out if they have tattoos. I mean really - everyone has a story and everyone deals with things differently - don't rule the tattooed out].

mmhmm

I loathe our oven. The little temperature knob lies and it's tempermental. You can put it at 375* one day and it will heat to 400*. Then you can set it at 375* another day and it will heat to 290*. I loathe it.

Blast from the past

     While I was putting away The Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney the other night, a book caught my eye. I know full well the contents of this book, though I have never read it. I know there is a post-it note in this book for 5 years now. I know that it is marking page 28 and yet, it has never been read. It sits on the book shelf, collecting imaginary dust. It gets moved around - but not opened. In 5 years only page 28 has been read - though I think it's only been read 4 times. Twice by me, once by the Hubster and once by my high school english teacher. It's her fault that this book is even in my possession. It's her fault that there is a post it not marking page 28. It's her fault that page 28 even exists. It's a sad thing to think of this book and the beauty and art that it holds and know that the words on the pages have not been read - to know that the pages have not even been thumbed through.
     So what's the big deal with this book? Inside contains a poem that was written many years ago and in which my junior year english grade depended on. It's not my best work, it's not even my favorite - and I don't really see myself in it much - though I don't try to see myself in it either. So I'm making a goal, I will read through this beautiful and inspiring 150 page book - though there is no time line. After all, books are written to be read. Poetry is written to be read - to be felt, contemplated, and (for me at least) to be cherished and taken to heart. It's sincere, and the courage one has in bearing his heart in such a way is beautiful - even if the message may not be. So I'll read this - because these kids, who are no longer kids anymore, poured their hearts out through these words - and someone should take the time to read it.


     And now you're curious as to what page 28 contains -so I'll post it. Though I don't like the way it flows and though I don't believe it's who I am; it was at one point. I suppose that's the important part.

My Poems

I do not like

letting people see

all of my poems,

they'll see too much "me".

Every one of my poems

is a window into me,

I don't like people knowing

how delicate I can be.

If they were to read them

they could see my secret life-

the one that isn't perfect,

the one with so much strife.

Through my poems they would know

the deepest parts of me;

the parts no one's aware of,

the parts no one can see,

If I knew I could handle it

I wouldn't stay hidden away,

but I'm afraid that if they know,

there is no way that they would stay.

That is why I do not like

letting the people see

all of the poems I've written,

they will see too much of "me".

     I don't really write poetry anymore -  It's a sad sort of thing I suppose. I feel like I may have lost that creative ability- if it even was an "ability" to begin with; I feel as if I'm parched - and I think there's a lot I would do for a glass of water.

Ink - Part Two - 2 Corinthians 5:17

     There are a thousand different ways I could start this blog, and quite honestly I still don't know where to start. I first felt the Holy Spirit move in me when I was 16, shortly after my little brother was born. My mom had invited me to church and for the first time in a LONG time, I agreed to go with her -- partly to get out of going to an archery tournament I wasn't able to compete at due mainly to my sour attitude and partly to my swollen wrist. I was completely overwhelmed during the service and was brought to tears - He was workin' in me. There was an altar call, I raised my hand, I stepped forward, I said the prayer and had a little "meeting" in what I would call the green room afterwards and I thought I was good to go. Then I got home, and fell into the same routine of sin - and while I was still being convicted I pushed it aside. Slowly over the next year, everyone I leaned on slowly got removed from my life - something my "favoritest" cousin, Jeff, had already told me would happen. One of my closest friends moved up north, another of my closest friends died unexpectedly, and while my grades stayed up I fell deeper and deeper into misery as I realized those I depended on for my happiness were leaving in some way. Christmas came and went - and it wasn't a good one. I'll spare you the details, but the comments directed my way were some of the most hurtful I think I've ever heard. December 26th came and I went to the spectrum with my boyfriend of the time and some friends. I remember my purse broke and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I called my mom in tears and I very distinctly remember telling her "God hates me." I could not be farther from the truth. God loves me. He was just trying to get my attention. Then it happened.

     On Dec. 27, 2006 I went to work and had to call my dad to ask him to do me a favor. He delivered the news over the phone - Jeff had been in an accident and was being taken to the hospital in critical condition. My world as I saw it was over. Jeff was the one person I knew I could always lean on - he was always there for me no matter what - whether in this state or another, through telephone, IM, or e-mail, he was always there. He once offered to drive out to see me, just because things at home weren’t good and I needed a hug. God's work in him was very evident. He loved the Lord. I spent the duration of my shift crying. At one point I felt my heart break completely and I knew he was gone or that he would be soon. I walked into the bathroom and fell to my knees...hard. I cried out to God - I threw my hands up and confessed "I can't do this anymore. I need you!" I spent the next year or so reading and trying to learn more about God, Jesus, and His Word - but I was depressed and easily deceived. Sometime in 2007 I got this tattoo, after much consideration and many conversations with Pastor Justin - to symbolize my life had been given to Christ and that I was (and am) a new creation.



    However, I continued to live life believing I was saved and living for Him, while I fell deeper into sin. It was about a year later, I don't remember if I was 18 or 19 that I fully gave my life to Christ. I had to go through one more heart wrenching experience to hate that sinful, worldly life so much that all I wanted was to run to the cross. I was completely broken; completely devastated; I was at rock bottom and the only thing I could see looking up was the Cross. God had unveiled my life to me…and it was anything but pleasant. I finally hated sin vehemently, hated where my life was going, and realized that if I continued to deny Christ’s pull on my heart that I would be spending eternity in Hell, rather than in communion with Him, praising Him. I knew the gospel and finally understood why Christ had to be crushed on the Cross for my sins, I knew the pull of my heart, and I could see God’s promises to take care of me displayed in front of me.  My life changed for God and it changed radically. He is faithful always. He has taken me from having nothing, to blessing me with more love than I could have ever imagined. A year later, I stood before my church family and declared my obedience to Christ in a water baptism. I continue to work and grow in my sanctification daily and it is all through His grace and Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross that I am where I am today. And while I got this tattoo before I was truly saved - I am glad that I got it. I'm glad that it was my first and while it wasn't true at the time - God still had a hold of me and it is true now.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

A Note of Praise

God has truly blessed me in this life, His love surrounds me. He has brought into my life an amazing husband, an amazing family, amazimg love and amazing friends- and it really shows when things get tough. Besides God, there is no one I would want by my side more than my husband. He lifts me up in my weakness, he encourages me like no one else can. He's there for me; he takes care of me when I need it most - and even when I'm completely undeserving. He shows me more of God's love daily. He teaches me and I learn so much with each action, big or small - and I am so grateful God has chosen this life for me. It's not without struggle, but this is His plan.

Can I just say something?

I'm so ready to learn whatever it is I'm supposed to learn from this trial - yet I don't know what I'm supposed to be learning from it. 7+ months and still no success...I wish it didn't have this endurance. Each trip to the Dr. M or Dr. E just seems more like a joke each time...

Was that too much to say?

Product Review Wednesday: The Melting Pot

     First....

Happy Birthday Pops! <3

     Secondly, I know this was intended as a "product" post, but let's just be a little spontaneous and throw out those rules for a bit. Just think of food as a "product" and you'll be good to go. As you all know Monday was Valentine's day. Because of this, and thanks to a family friend and a very generous and wonderful gift, the Hubster and I spent the weekend in downtown San Diego. We had a briliant little plan to take our fonue pot with us and have our own fondue in the timeshare room, however... we both tend to be space cadets, were a little behind schedule and left it at home (along with our Zoo passes and gift card which we drove back to get on Monday...anyways not the point). We didn't realize until we got there that the fondue pot was still back at home - 75+ minutes away. We were tired, it was getting late and we just didn't feel like turning around for a kitchen appliance. But, apparently we were still supposed to have fondue because little did we know that this hot number had taken up residency a few months ago RIGHT NEXT DOOR to where we were staying...

     Mmmm. Neither of us have ever been to The Melting Pot, and we had little hope of actually being able to get in. We checked in on reservation schedule for Sunday night and guess what? Totally booked. Not surprising, but the host gave us a ray of hope and let us in a little secret - the bar area contained 2 high tables and there was 1 fondue pot per 2 chairs actually at the bar and if we got there when they opened we had a good shot of being able to get it. BINGO.

     We arrived around 4:30PM (they opened an hour early because of the holiday) and were able to choose between which of the 2 non-reservation tables we wanted. Perfect. And then the experience began and let me tell you, I have never experienced restraunt service such as this! As my cousin would say it, it was PHENOMENAL, but you do have to be prepared for the price [it's a bit up there, but not totally unreasonable] and the time. Most nice sit-down dinners are usually around the 45 minutes to an hour duration, and when you hit that mark you start feeling the pressure from the server for you to stop talking, pay your bill and leave. Not so much here. The usual dinner duration is 2 hours and includes a cheese fondue, salad, main entree fondue and chocolate fondue. The staff is incredibly nice and they encourage you to take your time. We did not feel rushed at any moment and the way the reservations are staggered allow for your server to give you the full attention you may (or may not need). While their reservations were completely booked (except the 930 PM slot), their dining room was not. We never felt crowded, there was not commotion, in fact it was relatively difficult to hear the other tables. The atmosphere is very nice and soothing and you definitely don't feel like you're in a busy restaraunt like Cheese Cake Factory or P.F. Changs.

     The selections were great and they are VERY accomodating to food allergies. I've been to more than my fair share of places that wouldn't let me substitute something because of an allergy - but you definitely won't have that issue here. Both Hubster and I can't have nuts and that wasn't an issue removing almonds from the salad (no pre-made salads here) and Hubster can't have shrimp and they had absolutely no problem giving us extra chicken instead. So course 1 was a delicious cheddar cheese fondue with sun-dried tomatoes, chives, and garlic with the 3 plates or dippers - breads (3 different kinds), fresh veggies, and applies. This last one surprised us, but it was surprisingly good. Course 2 was a yummy salad. Course 3 was the main entree. We got the "Big Night Out" entree - consisting of the prettiest raw meat to cook (if you know me this is a big deal) - duck (I was too chicken to try it, but Hubster said it was good- the texture of chicken but with a fuller taste), chicken, filet mignon, & NY steak, and cheese ratatouille ravioli. Cooking style: Coq au Vin, with flavors of fresh herbs, mushrooms, garlic, spices and burgundy wine. Honesty, the burgundy wine was a bit strong for me - but I'm not a real wine person anyways. And the last, and most anticipated part of the meal....

     The chocolate fondue with the largest variety of dippers. We had the Milk Chocolate fondue with strawberries, bananas, marshmallows coated in graham crackers, marshmallows coated in oreos (this one was rich), pound cake squares, brownie squares, rice crispy treat squares, and cheese cake. DELICIOUS!

     Guys, if you're looking for a great date night dinner and are willing to spend a little extra money - take her here! I know this is a one time a year deal for us right now and I personally think it was well worth it!! Nice, soothing, romantic atmosphere, excellent food, even better dessert, great service and the best company (my husband) I could ask for!

     We will be returning again (and again...and again..... and....)

love

Tonight there is nothing more beautiful and joyous than the perfect little laughter of a handsome little boy and a beautiful littler girl. It soothes my soul and, in a way, brings me closer to my wonderful God - though I can't explain why.

Ink - Part 1

Warning: This will be controversial & there's a high chance of you not agreeing with this. I have probably heard it all. I've gotten quite a TON of ridicule and harrassment on this topic, so save....or not.

     So I have decided to do a 6 post "series" if you will, however infrequent or frequent, on my tattoos. (What!? She has tattoos! But she's a Christian!) Yes I know. Taboo, right? I bet I know what verse you're running to right now...*drum roll please*....Leviticus 19:28. In which it says,  "You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the LORD". Please read that in context, as well as in light of Christ's sacrifice. Leviticus 19:27 states "You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard." Clearly, no one should ever shave or trim their beards or side burns either. And now, Romans 7:6 "“But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit and not in the old way of the written code".



     So, how's that for an introductory?
     I hope now we are at least some what on the same page - but you still have your opinions; you still have your views. I understand that; like I said before - I've probably heard it all. But, I do not believe that it would have been fair of me to start this little "series" without giving you some biblical back-up. So now we can move on to tehe stories which are generally asked every few months.

Vacation

There will be no weekend posts this weekend - The Hubster and I have been blessed with a great gift of a weekend get-away, so we will be spending this weekend getting away!

I'm just a "little" excited!

Well, I suppose I'm risking it.

Sometimes I wish
--or so it seems--
my heart wouldn't long
for what it dreams.

I ask God to take it
I beg him, I cry
but with out avail
it's left here, I sigh.

So what to do now
with it on my heart still
years have passed
just waiting to fill.

but yet there's the issue
the underlying plee
the battle within
I wish would just flee

I dont think it will
it's here for a reason
I wish i didnt yearn
for just this one season.

so God won't you show me
just how to get by
lessen the pull
as I reach toward the sky.

Words

     I experienced a situation today that completely opened my eyes up to how careful we must be with our words. In having a conversation with a person I have not talked to in quite some time, a phrase was said that means something not good in our society, however this person meant it in an entirely different way. Counter-culture. A couple things happened in this conversation: I was angry that a person such as this would choose such an awful [at least how I perceive] way to describe the thing in question, and second - that as a Christian, our entire lives are counter-cultural.
     In a way, I suppose I could have not been surprised at the wording. Christians are counter-cultural because the culture is desperately pulling us one way and we are running the opposite direction, doing our best to hold on to what is true while the world tries to pull us down. [Sidenote: this reminds me of a beautiful skit done to Lifehouse's Everything. I'll post it in this blog - just because it is so beautiful - and while it can pertain to words as well - it's focus is the world pulling at you and Jesus fighting for you.]
     Anyways, I was honestly appalled by what was said and horrified that it was used to describe the thing in which was being described, but this person made a point. Words have been twisted from what they originally meant to how the culture you are residing in has made them to mean. And not just in a single word, but in entire phrases as well. I think Tim McGraw makes a good point in his song "Back When".

We got too complicated
It's all way over-rated
I like the old and out-dated
Way of life

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when... 

     This person made a bold statement - I may not agree with it, but that's what it was -bold. In doing this, I believe this person was trying to fight back against how society has corrupted our language and I realized that this is exactly why we must be careful with what we say.  As Christians we need to think of our time here on earth as if we were visiting a foreign country. Most of us don't travel to a foreign country being 100% fluent in that language or culture. That simple fact may lead to many problems. You may go into a foreign country, equipped with a generic language-to-language dictionary and attempt to say something that would be completely innocent where you live...but guess what? You can't use a dictionary to properly form sentences or even to fully know what every word means in regards to its culture or society. Something as simple as a thumbs up, which can mean "I understand", "cool", "good to go", "approval",  in America means something entirely different (and obscene) in Australlia, Iran, Iraq, and Thailand. While your intentions were innocent, you just damaged an opportunity to build a relationship. Just as I would be completely foreign in any of the above countries according to the world's standards, I am completely foreign to the world - this is something we need to always remember. As Chrsitians we are NOTW - Not Of This World - we are foreigners on this earth, which means that our words mean something different than the worlds. But, does that mean we should just not care and say what we want because we know we have innocent intentions? Absolutely not.  If we use phrases that were once innocent and have now been corrupted we risk our witness. We risk being credible as children of God; we risk turning people even farther away than they may or may not already be. The tongue is an incredible thing - and we must learn how to tame it and how to speak to people in a fallen world that may not be world-friendly. At the same time, we must make sure that what is said doesn't confuse them based off of their definition differing from ours.
     So please, guard your tongue. The devil is thirsting for a slip up; he's thirsting for you to say something that will contradict your witness; he's waiting eagerly for your words to damage any and every possible relationship you may have so he can snatch them up and tear them away from their Maker. Your words matter.

Just a little crafty-ness

     For Christmas, Momma got me the Cricut cutter.

     That pretty much sums up my excitement. There was much screaming, smiling and the comment of "really?! REALLY?!". It was a win.
     And so I give you some of my projects, I'm more proud of some than others... I'm still learning about this - maybe one day I'll make things as pretty as Momma makes 'em....maybe. She's pretty rock-tastic at what she does - she'll deny, but her work is beautiful.



Product Review Wednesday: Joe's Jeans

     Ladies, if you're anything like me, you loathe going jeans shopping. I'm little, and jeans just aren't designed for my body type - so last year, thanks to the Hubster, I gave up on $10 jeans (my frustrated attitude said just get the cheap ones, why spend more for something that won't fit anyways?) and ventured out to the more pricey jeans avenue.

     So, I was introduced to Joe's jeans and I was hooked the first time I tried them on. They're soft, but not too soft, the waist fits well, and the dark color is beautiful and hasn't faded in a year! After spending $80.00 on these jeans at Nordstrom Rack (they're normally priced around $160.00), I thought I had found the "perfect" pair of jeans - jeans that actually fit me well (I assure you, this is a miracle)! However, how was I supposed to know based off of the 5 minutes it takes to try on and assess the fit of a pair of jeans that after an hour or so these tighter fitting jeans would be bagging and unflattering? The waist fits perfectly- but that's the only thing that fits well after an hour. My $10 jeans from Forever 21 fit better at the end of the day than these more expensive ones, at least the F21 pair holds it's original shape and doesn't get baggy after an hour.

    Much to my disappointment, I'm still on the search for a good fitting pair of jeans - and I'm willing to take suggestions--more than willing!

[[p.s. if you like this blog, please click the "follow" the link. The encouragement is much appreciated. Thank you.]]

Marriage

     Anthony and I got married on November 7, 2010 - just 3 months ago and it's been a good journey so far (and we only anticipate it getting better :) ) One of the things I'm most grateful for is how much our marriage has helped me to understand God's agape (sacrificial) love for us. I can not think of a better tangible example of this form of love than marriage. No matter how tired we are or how hard the day was, we still work hard to make our home nice and peaceful before the other gets home; we compromise on the things that we want to do to better serve the other person. I have not experienced a love like this in day-to-day life - and God designed it that way. Our marriage has helped us grow closer to God, and that is absolutely beautiful.
     As Anthony puts it, we're on the same team now but we may not always feel up to the responsibility.
     He carries me when I get weary and I carry him when he does - but above all, God is carrying both of us.


     Now this is something on an entirely different note. Let me be real with you, let me explain something, let me ask you a question.
     Since being married I have found that people don't want to hear that we're doing good, and quite honestly, it's frustrating. The most common question is "how are you adjusting/how different is married life?" The truth is, we're adjusting well. Things are GOOD. The transition was smooth - but you don't want to hear that, because when that's the answer you dig for dirt - you're not going to get it. But understand where I'm coming from - I'm used to moving and adjusting to living with new people. Since 17, I have moved at least 14 times (including moving in with Anthony). Like any adjustment - it takes time and there's conflict, but there hasn't been anything tremendous that has caused a big issue. How different is married life? There are significant differences (figure it out), but we're still the same. We get along, we enjoy being married - but you don't want to hear that either, because when that's the answer, guess what - you dig for dirt.
     Can you just stop? All of you? Why is it so difficult to accept that we're doing good, that we're adjusting well, that our biggest adjustment has been getting used to sharing a bed (which according to our married friends, that apparently takes a life time...along with household temperatures). What are your motivations in digging? Check yourself please. Stop digging for dirt and trying to see if there's trouble in paradise. Understand that marriage takes work, but it's beautiful and it's worth it and while we don't always agree on things, we're on the same team and we work things out before they become a major issue. God is in the center of our marriage and we're communicating with each other which is key.
     My husband is my best friend, the love of my life, and the one God chose for me. He helps me understand God's love and Christ's sacrifice more and more, he directs me to Scripture when I need it, he prays for me, he prays with me, he takes care of me, provides for me, helps me, leads me, loves me more than I knew someone could love another being.

Poetry Dilema

     Wow. That sounds dramatic doesn't it? There's nothing dramatic about this. I need to write poetry again. I at least need to give it a shot - but here's the problem. Poetry isn't meant to be written and locked up in a dark chest to only be visited by spiders looking for a cozy place to spin a web. But do I post it where anyone has access to it and on the off-chance it's good give them full ability to steal it and claim it as their own?
     Do I take something so deeply personal and emotional and leave it out for all to see?


     Let's try something - can we have an interactive blog here? Hit the link to comment, I'm feeling the need to have feedback. And guess what? You don't even have to be a "follower" or have a google/gmail account to do so. Isn't that neat?

Casting Crowns

     Guess what my CD of choice has been lately? If you guessed Casting Crowns, you're a winner (and highly observant if you ask me ;) )

     I'm the type of person who throws in a CD on my drive to and from work, mindlessly learns the words and sings along while I focus on driving and not getting in an accident. The problem is, this method causes me to learn the words but not hear them. God had a different plan with that this time and as a result, I am presently, what's the word for it? Oh yes, mildly obsessed with two songs on this album. The first being American Dream and the second being If We Are The Body, and the third being Here I Go Again [Hey - I never claimed I was good with numbers.]

     I'll only write on one today. The title: American Dream. As I was driving home from work the other day, the CD hit repeat #4, so I hit random repeat and my brain kicked on as the songs came in through the grey speakers in a much different order. The first one up? American Dream. And the words hit me. But they didn't just hit me, I mean they hhhiiitttt me. They are so true.

     Has anyone else realized that the "American Dream" is a joke? Yet, so many are sucked into this delusion. Take some time to really listen to this song. Staying away from the bigger part of it, is the "American Dream" really worth losing your family for? I don't think so. Spend time with your spouse and your kids. Make memories with them - those are  more precious than anything money can by.

     And even more, is the "American Dream" really worth the cost of a lost soul?

I'll take a shack on a Rock over a castle in the sand any day.

The lyrics:

All work no play may have made Jack a dull boy
But all work no God has left Jack with a lost soul
But he's moving on full steam
He's chasing the American dream
And he's gonna give his family finer things

“Not this time son I've no time to waste
Maybe tomorrow we'll have time to play”
And then he slips into his new BMW
And drives farther and farther and farther away

Cause he works all day and tries to sleep at night
He says things will get better;
Better in time

[Chorus]
So he works and he builds with his own two hands
And he pours all he has in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are comin' crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

Well his American Dream is beginning to seem
More and more like a nightmare
With every passing day
"Daddy, can you come to my game?"
"Oh Baby, please don't work late."
Another wasted weekend
And they are slipping away

'Cause he works all day and lies awake at night
He tells them things are getting better
Just take a little more time

[Chorus]
So he works and he builds with his own two hands
And he pours all he has in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are comin' crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

He used to say, "Whoever dies with the most toys wins"
But if he loses his soul, what has he gained in the end
I'll take a shack on the rock
Over a castle in the sand

Now he works all day and cries alone at night
It's not getting any better
Looks like he's running out of time

[Chorus]
'Cause he worked and he built with his own two hands
And he poured all he had in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are coming crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

All they really wanted was you
All they really wanted was you
All they really wanted was you


     (By the way, if you're wondering what the "bigger part" that I referred to above is, it's salvation.)

S-U-C-C-E-S-S

That's the way we spell Success!


Apparently the blog is working, my attitude is improving. And according to 3 people, I'm at least some-what decent at writing. Who woulda thought... oh look a 5th Grade flashback... nevermind. There's that whole confidence thing again, hmmm.

Aspirations.

     It has just occured to me that I may use the word "intrigue" and all it's various forms way too much. Apparently I am greatly intrigued by a plethora of things. I may need some diversity, in which I give you....

    I find aspirations fascinating. Not in the fact that "aspiration" is defined as a strong desire, longing, or aim; ambition; a goal or objective desired. This is not the curious part of aspirations. This is actually widely accepted and pretty much natural. Aspirations are good things to have. So what is fascinating about these little (or big) buggers? I'm so glad you asked.
     From the time we're little bitty we have aspirations that are not practical, let alone realistic! I mean, ok, so some are legit - you want to be a mom, a wife, a teacher; you want to be a husband, a father, a fireman - but a bunch aren't.
     Elaborate? Thanks for the invite! As I have said, I'm a nanny to two great little munchkins. The oldest, "Little Guy", has one aspiration right now. To be....

     In fact, he wants to be Buzz Lightyear so bad, that when we stroll around the neighborhood and we encounter someone actually outside enjoying the day (I'm finding this is becoming rare) he very firmly says, "Buzz Lightyear! I'm Buzz Lightyear! BUZZ LIGHTYEAR". There is nothing gentle in his presentation of this desire. He is very forthright, as if he could just say it enough times it'll be true. He does not like to be called by his name - most of the time he corrects me and let's me know he is Buzz Lightyear. And when he sees a picture of Buzz, guess what he says? "Nanny, that's me." He 'flies' around with his wings, talks to starcommand (my husband very nicely takes this role over the phone at times), goes on missions, uses his laser, and defends the galaxy (or the family room, park, sidewalk, sister--though she's less than appreciative of this right now). But is he really going to be Buzz Lightyear? No. Buzz is not real. Many others aspire to be things like the President of the U.S.A., a CEO in a Fortune 500 company (I have no idea what that means), a movie star, a music star... but how many of us actually get there? Are these realistic for most?

     I can recall my childhood aspirations. As far as my memory allows me to recall, I haven't shared most of these with most. But as a child, I aspired to be:

• A Dancer (ballet, jazz, tap, did I mention ballet?)
• A Princess (with a castle and carriage and royal family by blood)
• A Music Star (not just a musician, but a star)
• A Writer of Books
• An Olympic Gymnast
• Did I mention a dancer?
• A Figure Skater
• Music Writer
• Perfect
  But mostly, I just wanted to be:
             Supergirl  (this has proven to be the most unrealistic and most damaging one yet)

Don't worry, reality hit in grade school for most, though Supergirl still taps me on the shoulder from time to time.

I had legit aspirations too:

• A Wife  
• A Mom
• 
  

  Poet      
• 
  

  Author   
• 
  

  A Musician

     I know that some of the "unrealistic" aspirations are actually legit on paper, but in the real world - some things just don't happen. But why is it that we set such high goals for ourselves? Even goals that are obviously unattainable due to physical, emotional, financial constraints (and any other type of constraint/restriction out there....I'm sure there are others...what are they?) It's good to aspire to do things, it's great to aspire to do great things - but our goals need to be realistic, attainable. We can't strive after something, like perfection or having a different blood line, that just isn't humanly possible. We'll go crazy - trust me, I've practically killed myself striving for some pretty unattainable goals. Superman and Superwoman are not real. We can't do everything, somethings we need to let go of - but why are we so determined, even at a young age, to have goals that aren't realistic? Can't we just be content with where God has brought us?

    How many of my aspirations have I accomplished? On the "unrealistic" list - the list I wanted and strived to have for way too long - none, zilch, zippo. How many of the "realistic" ones?  Hmm...I don't think that's really important, but I've gotten some of them and that's encouraging. But I do think that we need to all spend some time really thinking through the things we aspire to be and/or have. Aspirations are great - they're wonderful things, but when they're realistic. They may take some blood and sweat which is all well and good, but it's not good to set unrealistic goals for ourselves. I may respect those in the medical field, but that doesn't mean I should aspire to work there (I would pass out, you wouldn't want me as your nurse....trust me.) I'm not saying to give up goals - I just think it would be a good idea to reevaluate them from time to time and see if our aspirations are still on the realistic side of things. 

     I've found out some pretty rad things by taking the time to re-evaluate things. Like some of the things I thought I wanted I didn't really, and things I never thought I wanted are now interesting to me and a possibility when they weren't before.

     Be like Wall-E. Don't give up on your hope, but don't hope for something that is hopeless. Strive for things,  but don't kill yourself trying for something that isn't real.

Ducks

     It occurred to me today as I was reflecting on a recent trip to Disneyland that the duck culture (why can't they have a culture?) has it completely backwards to our western culture. I'm not saying they're any better - I'm not saying that at all, but it at least intrigues me.



     Ducks...ducks are different. The females aren't "pretty"; they don't stand out; there's nothing outwardly fascinating at first glimps - they are, in fact, plain jane. Simple and plain, kinda like Sarah, but not so tall (if you were in my 4th grade class you would get that). But what's hidden beneath is far different than the surface picture. If you look in the picture above, tucked beneath the plain feathers is a magnificent glimpse of color - their hidden beauty, if you will. Their external beauty is not flaunted for others to see, it's subtly tucked away - you have to look a bit closer.The guys are the ones with more physical beauty. They're heads are this beautiful, emerald green. A green different from what I've seen on any other creature. And why is this? Because in the duck culture the males pursue the girls and one of their biggest "selling" points is their beauty. There is no reason for the females to flaunt their beauty. They aren't the ones who are pursuing a mate and trying to get the attention. The males are doing the heavy lifting; they're pursuing; they're proving they care enough to work for their mate, to fight for her, protect her, provide for her.
     In our western culture, the girls are the "pretty" ones, where as the guys are pretty much whatever. Let me explain before you get a negative attitude on that statement. We [the women] are the ones who spend time primping and pruning to make ourselves appear prettier than the beauty God has already given us. We spend countless hours pouring over pictures that are superimposed by technology and blasted in our faces through the media of what "pretty" is. Which way to wear your hair, how to do your makeup better, what clothes to wear for your body type...the list goes on. The more extreme go and surgically add or remove things to/from their bodies so they can be "pretty. And why do we strive for this so much? Apart from the media telling us this is what we "should" be doing, we all desire the same thing: acceptance, approval, attention; and even more, the guys have stopped pursuing so in turn we feel we must.
     Now the guys, while I credit you for the time you take with your primping, it is no where near what girls spend (at least for most, there are those who take just as long if not longer - but you're the minority and I'm talking about the masses here). I mean, some guys even roll out of bed and they're good to go - throw on some jeans, a clean shirt, and rustle your hair and your out the door in 32.4 seconds. Guys know that every little girl's dream is to get married - and every woman was once a little girl. They know that women are looking for that, and our whacked society is teaching the men that since that's what women want they can work for it. Leaving the men to their own devices and slowly being corrupted by what the media, society and culture says their role should be- the pursued; the womanizer; the unattached; the player; the ______ (fill in the blank) But the culture isn't teaching them that they should be protecting and providing and fighting for women who are, by design, weaker - yet still completely equal according to God.
      In the western culture, we're losing that the men are supposed do the pursuing. The men are supposed to be grabbing the girls attentions and pursuing them in ways that show they can and will be their protector and provider. Instead, the girls are taking the lead and in a tragic way. They are seeking after full and total acceptance from not only a fallen culture, but a fallen world. Instead of looking up, we're looking to the left and to the right. Trying to find, be fully accepted and validated from our peers. This will never work. We (women and girls) have been burned way too much from the time we're itty bitty until our dying days. Every girl has been burned in some way, at some time, by another female. If you don't believe me - think back to junior high or high school. Girls can be vicious and it's terrible - and the worst part is we are encouraged to be so by everything that is worldly. Add on the fact that we also allow ourselves to be led on by too many worldly - and sometimes not worldly- guys and that the world tells us this is ok and you get a world full of hurt girls searching in the same places they get hurt for the acceptance they long for.

    Girls: We need to be looking up towards God to fulfill us, lead us in the way He wants us to be, and learn to treat others (including those we have hurt and those who have hurt us). To satisfy our every need and quench the thirst of acceptance and approval we so long for. We need to go to His Word. First to recognize we need our Savior Jesus Christ (John 14:6; Acts 15:11, Ephesians 2:8-9...), second to lean on Him for all our needs (Proverbs 3:5-6; Rom 3:23; Isa 6:3) and third to embrace the woman He created us to be instead of comforming to the twisted beliefs of this world (Prov 31:10-31; Rom 12:2).
    Guys: You too need to be looking up towards God to fulfill you and lead you in the way you should go - including the way you treat girls. You too need to go to His Word - recognize the need for Jesus Christ in your life (John 14:6; Acts 15:11, Ephesians 2:8-9...), lean on Him (Proverbs 3:5-6; Rom 3:23; Isa 6:3), and learn how to be the man you were created to be (1 Peter 3:7; Proverbs 10:9; Eph 5:25...). We need men in this world willing to stand up for what is right in God's eyes; willing to stand up for our integrity as well as your own in a world that cries for you to lose it all for the sake of a one night stand or cheap business deal.

     So let's stand up for Jesus. Stand up for how God created us to be. Conform to HIS Word and not the world's. And hey, prayerfully, we'll have a great revival. Let's make a difference in this fallen world for the One who gave it all.

writing

I think writing is good for the soul. <3

What about you?

On Location Blogging.

Hi from the Salon!

So, the Hubster is a hair stylist - so this is how I spend my days off. I would write more, but it's time to rinse! :)

Product Review Wednesday: 7 Seconds Dry Shampoo by Unite Eurotherapy

    My husband is a hairstylist, so naturally we have a bunch of great (and some not-so-great) hair product at our home, so I decided to take it upon myself to review one of them. Let's just say presently I'm in love.

     Normally, I wash my hair every other day (if I remember to not wash it that is) honestly, I don't remember why - something about when you wash your hair frequently your body starts over producing oil...or something like that. I'll get the hairstylist answer when Anthony gets home. Now that it (my hair) is presently red, each time I get my hair wet a little bit of the color comes out - causing it to fade faster than I would like (granted, I would like it to just not fade or grow out -but apparently this is the real world and that doesn't happen here.)- my hair is very porous after the process of making it blonde. Due to the fact that I can't wet my hair as frequently at the moment, my husband brought home this hot little number. Like I said before, I'm in love.

     Besides the fact that the entire Unite Eurotherapy product line smells yummy, unlike every other product line I've tried (I won't name names), this product is just fabulous! Just a few sprays and my hair is back to looking fresh! One thing of note: You actually have to spray it on your roots, unlike other hair products. Probably not rocket science for most, but it took me a couple days to figure that one out - and I only really figured it out because my hubby caught me attempting to use it unsuccessfully. Anyways,  the Unite Eurotherapy website is right on with it's product statements. I personally tested each statement:

     1.The company states that it "Aids in preserving hair color". Definitely true! Red is a very difficult color to keep. The first go around, I did not use this product and let me tell you, my hair faded to a nice 5th Element orange rather quickly (It was about 5 days). The second go around, I believe we're at 2 or 3 weeks of color and it's still red, lighter, but still red. It has faded since I do still wet my hair and wash it with real shampoo, but because I am doing it less frequently it's maintaining quite nicely.
     2. "Removes excess oil" - Again, definitely true! I cannot stand the look or feel of oily hair (YUCK!), and it tends to get rather oily, especially since I'm trying to cut back on the frequency I shampoo it in the shower. This product removes the oil, making my hair look like it was just washed- nice and fresh and clean!
     3. "Increases Volume" - My hair is naturally pretty flat, I have to work at it to get volume and usually, the day after washing it doesn't want to do anything that even slightly resembles volume - even with working it. After using this product, it gives it more volume so my hair doesn't appear to be flat against my head.
     4. "No visible powder" - Now, I personally have not used any other dry shampoo besides this one, but I have been informed by my girlfriends who have asked me about this product if it leaves a powdery residue like other dry shampoos they have tried (this tends to be the main reason they are weary of giving it a shot). It doesn't! Another great selling point, if you ask me.

     5. "Refreshes hair without the use of water" - Yes, yes, yes! I know I have already touched on this, but it is so true. My hair is definitely looking refreshed and clean after using this product. And the best part is,,,,
     6. "You'll never be late for Happy Hour again!" - Ok, this one I have not personally tested. I don't believe I have ever been to a happy hour, BUT -You won't be late for work, church events, appointments because of your hair needing a wash before going out. (Granted, there are a number of other ways you can make up for that - I struggle with that).
     With this product you spray it on your roots, lightly dust it with your hand and viola! Pretty, fresh, ready to go hair in, you guessed it, 7 seconds!

So there you have it, there's my review on my new favorite hair product!

Netty Pot

....or should I say Not-ty Pot.
Guess what I tried tonight?
The Not-ty Pot (as in, I will NOT-be-trying-that-again Pot). So, I have this obnoxious thing with my nose going on for a few weeks (Don't worry, I'll spare you the details. You're welcome). So my Hubster suggested I try this contraption to help. Uhm...Ouch Charlie. Ouch.
In fairness, I was probably operating the tea pot looking thing incorrectly, but hey - whoever thought about purposely putting water up your nose must not have been thinking properly. Mr. Netty Pot - haven't you ever jumped in a pool and had water slam up your nose? Not enjoyable, Sir, not enjoyable. "They" purposely tell you to plug your nose when you jump in so that exact thing doesn't happen. Yes, I'm sure there's science to it and a legit reason as to why this is helpful, but oo ouch. I think we should just jump into the apartment pool - it'll have the same effect, right? ;) haha.

On bigger news: Baby Girl's birthday is tomorrow and I am so enjoying experiencing her little personality come out. She hasn't been a very cuddly baby and she spent yesterday and today giving me hugs - really sweet, lay her cute little head on my shoulder and cuddle hugs. And today she gave me kisses! I have the most rewarding job ever. EVER. :)

I've also started a new book in which I relate far too well to the author, which is why I am compelled to finish it.